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Yo check one two. Rap. Comedy. Nerds. Schaffer. Coolzey. Bad jokes. Is this thing on? Check.

lyrics

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Schaffer
Who?
Who's there?
Coolzey
Who's there?
Who?
You
Who cares?
You there
Who? Where?
Dude, there
Cool hair
True
You
Who?
Ooh, you're on first
You're the worst
First verse: introductions
Did that, keep it coming
Second, third: a bunch of rhymes
Lunch Time What? Fine
No gag so bad it can embarrass us
Cuz if you ask us we're hilarious

AMUSING OURSELVES IS WHAT WE DO BEST
PERPETUAL PUNCHLINES AND INFINITE JEST
RAPPER SLASH COMEDIAN YOU MIGHT HAVE GUESSED THAT
ABUSING OURSELVES IS WHAT WE DO BEST
AMUSING OURSELVES IS WHAT WE DO BEST
PERPETUAL PUNCHLINES AND INFINITE JESTS
RAPPER SLASH COMEDIAN YOU MIGHT HAVE GUESSED THAT
I LOVE BAD JOKES

I don't wanna be lumped in with these bumpkins
I think our country's president is orange because he pump kin
You wanna know something?
Okay sure
Then take a class because they teach you stuff there
Why you always upstair?
I give up, why
Because you short
The ball is in my court
I mean I'm having a house party
I know that I'm a dork
But I invited Bjork
and when she came over she asked
'What are you bakin?'
I replied 'Why, do I look like pork?'

AMUSING OURSELVES IS WHAT WE DO BEST
PERPETUAL PUNCHLINES AND INFINITE JESTS
RAPPER SLASH COMEDIAN YOU MIGHT HAVE GUESSED THAT
ABUSING OURSELVES IS WHAT WE DO BEST
AMUSING OURSELVES IS WHAT WE DO BEST
PERPETUAL PUNCHLINES AND INFINITE JESTS
RAPPER SLASH COMEDIAN YOU MIGHT HAVE GUESSED THAT
AMUSING OURSELVES IS WHAT WE DO BEST

(STD)
How's it going, folks? Keep it going for your host
Did you know this? You ever notice? You never, nope
Yo, your mouth: close it, no hecklers or loud jerks
Hold my drink, I think I'll slide in some crowd work
What's your name
Coolzey
What is that, Armenian?
What you do for a living?
I'm a rapper-slash-comedian
Oh, really then? Hold up, they're giving me the sign
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, well that has been my time

AMUSING OURSELVES IS WHAT WE DO BEST
PERPETUAL PUNCHLINES AND INFINITE JEST
RAPPER SLASH COMEDIAN YOU MIGHT HAVE GUESSED THAT
ABUSING OURSELVES IS WHAT WE DO BEST
AMUSING OURSELVES IS WHAT WE DO BEST
PERPETUAL PUNCHLINES AND INFINITE JESTS
RAPPER SLASH COMEDIAN YOU MIGHT HAVE GUESSED THAT
AMUSING OURSELVES IS WHAT WE DO BEST

credits

released April 1, 2019
Vocals: Coolzey and Schaffer the Darklord
Beat: Coolzey
Mix: Vince Vandal
Master: Sidechain Recording

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Coolzey Fairfield, Iowa

Golden era hip-hop roots planted in black Iowa dirt are the foundation. Growth tempered by alternative era rock influence. This along with a love for the juxtaposition of the dark, horrific nature of life paired with a slapstick and comedic view of the world allow for a wide, unpredictable arsenal ranging from soul-spilling indie bedroom rock to wise-cracking battle rap and on to radio pop. ... more

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