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The Honey

by Coolzey

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    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Farewell Is Just the Beginning, Hexadecimal Chess Geeks (feat Twill Distilled), Simulation Glitching, Fauci's Lament, The Honey (10 Year Anniversary Remaster), Hot Sauce For Blood, Apocalypse Bards, ZeroCool, and 27 more. , and , .

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  • 12" VINYL LP
    Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Limited Edition 12" long playing highlighter yellow vinyl record of Coolzey's first official album 'The Honey' with art by Jennifer Hennesy.

    Includes unlimited streaming of The Honey via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

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1.
Hey there, how you doing. My name's Zach and I'm 30. I shower once a week so there's a good chance that I'm dirty. I'm a workaholic mental case. I bite my fingernails until they bleed. I like alcohol and weed but I hate cocaine and speed. Greed turns me off, as does jealousy and vengeance. When I do my taxes I claim zero dependents. I'm a Virgo so I'm loyal but commitment terrifies me. I love women but especially brunettes with brown eyes. See, I'm impulsive, diplomatic, charismatic. I like gettin' shit done but most of all I'm about having fun. The ocean and the trees are my favorite MCs. In high school it was the RZA before that it was Chuck D. I must be lucky that I never caught an STD and, oh yes, I go to the Free Medical Clinic frequently. I like to say 'I eat emcees and kill emcees', but really I'm just fed up because they're boring. In short: I just don't feel emcees. Real emcees to me are real people who live life just to enjoy, and never say 'Holler at your boy'. I'm easily disappointed and I'm overly optimistic. I fancy myself as sort of a spiritual mystic. I'm not materialistic but I love my MPC-1000 and my record collection more than my best friends. My mother and my father have given me so much love and unconditional support that I could never thank 'em enough. My Dad put me through college. He said, 'Son, you gotta do this one thing for me, and then after that, you're free.' So I did it. I got myself a college degree. I studied acting, art, religion, and philosophy. There was no stopping me. I was ready for the world, but then I started falling in love with crazy young girls. So many hours spent screamin' and cryin'. Heads and hands goin' through walls. I kept tryin' to make sense of it all. My brain was fryin' so I had to give it up because myself I was denyin'. Now I'm flyin' across the country in a new van. The Iowan American Anglo-Saxon human doin' it for you and you and you and you man. Check my tour schedule for when I'm comin' through man. So fuck a day job and fuck a wack-ass stage show. I'm working my ass off even if I don't get paid, yo, so fuck a dollar bill. I do this for the love and the experience, but also for the free drinks and drugs.
2.
The Honey 03:14
COOLZEY: Let's take it back one more time. Let's do it again. I'm so sick of people sitting 'round remembering when. Why can't we do it again? Give me one reason why. You gonna sit and reminisce until the day you die? Why did you stop? Did you get scared? Did you feel like you were the only one who cared? Well I'm here to tell you that I'm here to help you see that every single minute that you're living is new. Inhale the crisp clean January air and quit swatting at the flies, they aren't there. Shake yourself loose. I know that blank stare came from getting hurt and now you're afraid to care. Remember when you ventured to the dragon's lair, tried to snatch the jewels and be a dragon slayer? I love you for that, and you know I don't care whether or not you got the key from the mayor. I know you tried real hard to be a taxpayer until you realized that that shit wasn't fair. Decided that you no longer would be a player and support the greedy bastards who don't know how to share. So you said 'Fuck it. Two tears in a bucket. Pass me the ball I'm gonna run it and tuck it.' Bust through the scrimmage line. I'm not about 'gettin' mine' 'cus life is a cartoon. Word to Roy Lichtenstein. RHOMBUS: Take off all your clothes. Sneak into a boat. Sail to Africa. Sail. SCHAFFER THE DARKLORD: Back behind a broken down galleon I found ya with a head full of valium, Stella, and nostalgia with a calendar, countin' down and tallyin', waitin' for a song when the album wasn't out yet. Rapscallion, silly-dilly-dallyin' and couldn't do the show 'cus you were late for the sound check. Sometimes you like to act like nothing matters. Hollerin' 'Forget about it', but you aren't even Italian. You could have been valiant, mounted on a stallion, advancing on a palace on the top of that mountain, a paladin assassin, mighty like a falcon dressed in medals and medallions, but now you wallow in the hollowness of sadness, latched on to past times or that haven't happened. Heart full of malice, bad or badly calloused. Life is a party jam, not some sappy ballad man! One more time let's do it again. Every moment's in the middle, no beginning or end. No yesterday. No tomorrow. Only this instant. Spoon it up like honey, drizzle it upon your biscuit. There are two meanings of the word present. Today is a gift so go ahead and get it and open it. It's for you. I'm hoping it'll show you that every single minute that you're living is new. RHOMBUS: Take off all your clothes. Sneak into a boat. Sail to Africa. Sail.
3.
Look 03:40
COOLZEY and JASON HENNESY: Do you believe that the devil can smell you? I don't know but it makes me scared. You know you can't leave until Big Poppa tells you. Come on in and set it right over there. Don't you get up unless you wanna get it. I don't wanna have to make you cry. Throw your hands up if you just got acquitted. Spread it out until it feels just right. Garbage man keep on keepin' it low. No more bullets, time to reload. Lord and master take me below the surface. Now's my time to blow. Gold is black charcoal on brown butcher paper. We rub it out. Electric laser erase the doubt. Can you get out of the hole that you fell through? I don't know, but I can't look back. Do you believe the statistics we tell you? I'm not jokin' it's the goddamn facts. This shit is whatever you wanna call it. Delta Force, Predator, or Con Air. I only want what you have in your wallet. Stuck again with the same blank stare. Garbage man keep on keepin' it low. No more bullets, time to reload. Lord and master take me below the surface. Now's my time to blow. Gold is black charcoal on brown butcher paper. We rub it out. Electric laser erase the doubt.
4.
Let's Flip 03:53
Let's Flip If you had enough of all this shit Recline, keep trying can't give it up No doubt I got to live it up Let's Flip Hook up my family with this hit Let's shine It's time to mop and glow Get mind stay grind Can't stop the show I heard the call to arms through the thick fog Standing in the doorway until they notice me Eavesdrop Get the gist Plans adaptable Evolve Primate curriculum Contractors botched the job Coolzey clean it up Janitor professional Meetings we teaming up Hearings congressional Constant confessional Session'll never terminate Word it straight Beating around the bush Will never germinate Don't hate Unite the state Preach Love Decrease the murder rate Free hugs for thugs Take less drugs Way less bugs Picking up the trash Better start respecting your own ass No class Never heard of tact T-A-C-T Look it up motherfuck A-D-A-P-T Fuck you America What did you teach me? Your culture is as disposable as your currency Let's Flip If you had enough of all this shit Recline, keep trying can't give it up No doubt I got to live it up Let's Flip Hook up my family with this hit Let's shine It's time to mop and glow Get mind stay grind Can't stop the show So check it out party people While my rhyme is burning A hole in the mic Like you should be turning Over to your left Cus that girl's looking right Wake up She been making eyes at you all night The stakes is high You better know what you're doing Let your boys know too You don't want them to ruin An opportunity you might be pursuing That's why you always gotta clue your crew in Who in the hell's gonna try and snatch the needle Off a Coolzey MC powered train track They brain's cracked Smacking them off Backing them off of the DJ Playing on Alicia's keys to see what she say We may get a little rowdy because Joe Just came out the back with a bottle of Mo' Throttling slow More people coming in the door Bodies of hotties Making fellas say 'Woah' Everybody say 'Ho' Ladies shake your butts C double O L in the place going nuts Courtesy cuts for the freshest females in the line Kick the chorus one more time Let's Flip If you had enough of all this shit Recline, keep trying can't give it up No doubt I got to live it up Let's Flip Hook up my family with this hit Let's shine It's time to mop and glow Get mind stay grind Can't stop the show
5.
COOLZEY Man I'm always on tour At least that's what everybody tells me What could I say? I guess the power of the people compels me My people keep me sane and on top of my game Showing me my target so I know where to aim and just how far I got to pull back my bow string Coolzey I rock the mic but with no bling It's no thing Just a regular bro thing A mic's just one of the many weapons that I'm holding You think that you could be me for real? Nah, I also got a MPC, a shotty and a skil-saw and I still draw, act, write and work on houses, wait tables, book shows and flip ounces Plus I gotta find time to sleep, eat, catch a flick, Exercise, relax, make beats, jerk my dick and still have time for wine, women and weed, too Yo X, where you going when we pick you up from Jet Blue? SADAT X I go from continent to country State by state in the Montana van Coolzey's driving, my man My software leaves no time to prepare You holding out on the weed, dog? Blow it in the air In the back seat it's share Look how I messed up her hair But she's old so no pregnancy scare I'm rare, untraceable Strictly in code Shake your ass on down and move your lymph nodes WILLIAM ELLIOTT WHITMORE We ain't got far to ride If we make time, say it's about a day Until I'm home There will be porches and wine My stage life will be miles away But I know That it won't be too long No it won't be too long Until I sing that tour song No it won't be too long I know that my home will be miles away So have mercy SADAT X It's eight bars to the stars Me and Coolzey we just won ours In America's heartland I do my part, man because that's what I does No particular reason Season after season Yeah, I be the rapper Your girl gets out of line What you gonna do? Slap her? That would be the capper for me sliding in Don't you do that my man I'll lift her dress like the wind COOLZEY High of experience and education Try to put me in the Days Inn Enough excuse for me to cave your face in Liquor chasing with the Stella Where's hip hop when they won't press up a 12 inch with an a cappella? Promoters who front they get beat down You love Busta but you never heard of Dinco D and C Brown You're like How can I be down? See clown, you gotta learn to cultivate the renown Welcome to Z Town Population 88 Number of personalities I got trapped up in my metal plate I like to call a brain My wrecking ball and chain Crush this industry to rubble until no shitty wall remain But is it all in vain? How should I know? I'm just a Henny sipping Philly hitting wino So go ahead and sue me I'm just another Rumi Drunken poet wooing honey-dips until they do me WILLIAM ELLIOTT WHITMORE We ain't got far to ride If we make time, say it's about a day Until I'm home There will be porches and wine My stage life will be miles away But I know That it won't be too long No it won't be too long Until I sing that tour song No it won't be too long I know that my home will be miles away So have mercy
6.
Ride 03:28
It takes the simplest fact Like a slap To set a prick back Drinking in the cellar with snakes Behind a brick stack is where your ass will wind up Another drunken mistake Pondering blunders Until your final breath intake They been fake Chopped them up and throw their bodies in lakes Undo the zipper like strippers that's hiding in cakes This one goes out to motherfuckers digging in crates Using record stacks for furniture Breaks The brutal frontal attack Knocks you back like a grenade blast The dungeon is the place Where emcees get slain fast I stayed past my welcome Lord Jehovah couldn't help them I treat sucker ducks like grilled cheese Because I melt them I smelt them Warm-blooded sneaking through my cemetery backyard The legendary rap god My track's hard Bloody Mary Attack Squad You're slack-jawed I act odd with it Because I stay committed to keeping throats slitted and leaving lungs lacerated Splattering patterns on the wall Then they coagulated Skated on the black ice across the river Styx Then I threw a couple of tricks in the mix Just for kicks Fixed up your whip with a couple of bricks and a crowbar There you go, star Your ride's pimped Chopped off your fingers then I put them on ice So I could eat them up with cocktail sauce just like shrimp Ride I got my mouth on a brown bottle like it was a broad's breast My mind is up on full throttle You could say the god's blessed Take a drink or leave it But I take it more than not Drink a cup of coffee Then I chase it with some pot My liver probably got rot Spend money like a hot shot When it comes to what's next I'm the king of Why not? Paint the walls with Dry-Lok to keep the blood from seeping in This room feels like a casket Like a casket that I'm sleeping in Paranoid Listening for steps You think I'm creeping in Light up the incinerator Because I'm leaping in I'm seeking gin and juice Use it for sprucing up the evening I'm even in your friends' top emcees So may we begin to discuss the B.I. at hand My eyes on that grand Rhymes hit your mind like a half gram Grand slam Slam dunk Goddamn rambunctious Tongue twist Crossing names off of my list Balled up fist kissed your mandibles Intangible like apparition Wishing for pills to cure your itching Fishing for bills in your pocket So you can cop it at the merch table Fiend for the legend The fable It's the light beer guzzler Jig-saw puzzler I'd like to send a shot out to my father and my mother Because they set me up lovely Time to get grungy I want to spread my mustard All over the country Ride
7.
Retina Scan 05:37
COOLZEY I'll give you one guess Who the guy is they sent to clean up the mess Give a fuck if you're black or white I eat both legs and breast Wings and thighs Whether you king-shit or a small fry I don't discriminate Eliminate you like a fall guy All rise because I came to judge Thought you rocked the party but you didn't get a dame to budge I made a hard rock Let down his guard, Ak Don't try to comprehend, friend Before you turn your brain to fudge Because most people are walking the earth half asleep Pretending to be emcees when they're really just sheep And so we gotta guide them back to the pasture First you gotta wake up before you test the master Walk before you run, son Think before you shit out your mouth And me and Copy have to visit your house In the middle of the night wearing black suits Take your gear, raid your fridge, and drink up all the brew Leave with your memory gone before dawn On your way to work spot a crop circle on your lawn Think nothing of it, puppet Live your life and love cus it's gone before you know it So don't blow it Carry on Nothing to see here Please step back behind the line, sir The kind of thoughts I have will make your mind blur I never related to you petty humans anyway Any day now the mothership will return But I ain't going Nah, man I like it here Wine, women, weed, records and mics and striking fear into the hearts of the haters who been fucking up the planet since day one Ignorant ones your time will come But for now I play the background Chilling with a drink until a fink decides He'd like to get a smack down and that's the triple truth, Ruth You try to step into the booth and get loose Yo money, put the crack down COPYWRITE AND COOLZEY There's more things on heaven and earth than you could ever dream So I suggest you retreat and get a better team Who's Copywrite? I don't know, never met the man Look into the light ma'am We're need to take your retina scan The world's a large place It's easy to lose track Every day you leave your spot You might never come back Who's Coolzey? I don't know never met the man Look into the light, sir We're gonna need to get your retina scan COPYWRITE Six million ways to die Lazer eyes Trained to spy On haze or Thai On haters wives The faithful bride Until I hit her with amazing lies Then I hit her with the dick and tell the bitch to page a ride Not the king of my city Nor a jester or a mayor Just an addict without Vicodin Settling for Bayers Shoot my metal in the air Tell Kramer to get the hell up in the chair of the Caddy and hit the pedal for a scare Burn out until there's yellow in his chair Drop him off in the ghetto unprepared and get the hell up outta there See I'm mellow off the haze But I'm mentally insane Without a chemical to brain That's why I'm regularly blazed And all sediments remain Until I'm dead and in the grave Medicine infested in my vein Leveraging the pain I started smoking and I've never been the same Whatever remains of my cells fell out of my brain COOLZEY So get the hell out of the rain because it's acid and it burns Can't get the smell out or the stain Yo what was that behind the ferns? Let us handle it, bro Go back to your little life Little wifey needs you in the kitchen Plus you're twitching It'll be all right Somebody get this man some water and a blanket Then escort him off the premises So we can bring the ruckus Before you go just let us check you for concussion Look into this here device please Now say cheese Punch it COPYWRITE AND COOLZEY There's more things on heaven and earth than you could ever dream So I suggest you retreat and get a better team Who's Copywrite? I don't know, never met the man Look into the light ma'am We're need to take your retina scan The world's a large place It's easy to lose track Every day you leave your spot You might never come back Who's Coolzey? I don't know never met the man Look into the light, sir We're gonna need to get your retina scan
8.
By the Time 00:49
9.
COOLZEY Well I don't know what you're thinking But I know what you're not thinking of The reason that you're drinking On that little drink right there You try to ignore How long you go for It's no too long until you're going Through that dark door Oh, and it makes All of your problems Seem so ridiculous I can't believe you're serious Things that you choose To freak out about So unimportant Yet so enormous Yo, check the chorus We're all gonna die You can't escape it Might as well face it You can't erase it Even if you try Don't try and hate it By god don't waste it Let's all embrace it We're all gonna die RAASHAN AHMAD And if it's gonna be like that I'm on the block bugging like taking my life back Let it all go Cold chill like ice packs Put on some pastels and kick Miami Vice raps Don't sweat the small at all Cus success is best to make you fall Hold the gall that's insignificant We gonna die, God How was your time spent? COOLZEY Now on your back you feel the cold wind You know exactly where you're going You're slowing down until you're frozen But that don't mean you should give up It's time to get up in that mosh pit It's time to wild out like you've lost it No time for regrets cus you could be next We're all gonna die
10.
Old Machine 02:52
There's lots of reefer in this old machine. There's lots of people in my mind. And if I stay out 'til the sun is gone, won't be afraid of what I'll find. There's lots of Jesuses in poetry. There's lots of creatures in my bed. Why did you ask who when you know it's me. We can't remember what was said. Can't keep the fire fed, so I can't stay stoked today. We come a long way but we still can't sleep. Searching for fires in the night. I always say I don't know anything, but I still know what keeps me light. I tried to give you what you stole from me. You were more comfortable with theft. And here we are you're still approaching me. Why can't you see there's nothing left? You are a liar friend, so I've lost all hope today.

about

The first official full-length Coolzey album. The Honey was recorded in 2009 and released January 2010. There are 10 songs. Coolzey produced the album with help from Luke Tweedy at Flat Black Studios. The album features Raashan Ahmad, Sadat X, Copywrite, William Elliott Whitmore, Ed Gray, The Rhombus, Schaffer the Darklord, and a host of Iowa City musicians.

This album was created in a whirlwind of joy and pain. Let’s just be friends and have fun together.

credits

released January 29, 2010

Produced by Coolzey for Public School Records
Captured and Mixed by Luke Tweedy for Flat Black Studios
Mastered by Carl Saff for Saff Mastering

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Coolzey Fairfield, Iowa

Golden era hip-hop roots planted in black Iowa dirt are the foundation. Growth tempered by alternative era rock influence. This along with a love for the juxtaposition of the dark, horrific nature of life paired with a slapstick and comedic view of the world allow for a wide, unpredictable arsenal ranging from soul-spilling indie bedroom rock to wise-cracking battle rap and on to radio pop. ... more

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