Get all 38 Coolzey releases available on Bandcamp and save 45%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Coolzey vs PRZM (Reissue), April Fools, Coolzey and the Search for the Hip Hop Hearts Vol 2: I'm the DJ, They're the Rapper, Thank You for Drinking of Me, Feeling Flaccid, You Fucking Suck, Farewell Is Just the Beginning, Hexadecimal Chess Geeks (feat Twill Distilled), and 30 more.
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1. |
Party People
01:29
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Listen up party people in the place to be
I am the human being that they call Coolzey
I got something to feel I got something to see
And I'm about to drain a three from the top of the key
You talking to me G you best enunciate
Articulate your words or else nerds I will anhilate
My eyes dilate when I ingest psychotropic drugs
Thugs keep forgetting that they're just microscopic bugs
Three tugs on the rope means pull me up out of this cavern
And take me over to the local tavern
In a black Saturn Buick Le Sabre I don't give shit
When the frog ribits I want a shot of Glenlivet
Two fingers facing you is peace the other way it ain't
The kid's quaint sometimes he like to just sit and paint
Silly pictures for his own utter amusement
Or slip into a rhyme style and start biting Doom's shit
Like 'He Did' on the second verse of 'Trees and Dirt'
Or Count Bass did on his 'Just to Make a Buck' verse
Coolzey aka the Curse call me Mr. Dent
Zoo and Roy G Biv but my real name is Zach Lint
Yeah that's my Clark Kent except I just blew it
Because a secret ID is not a secret if you knew it
Aw screw it let's just get on with the program
A tight set with no posse cut and no slow jam
But buy my next album and I'll do both I promise
You get it you want cool bro Coolzey I'm on it
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2. |
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Hah
I see you didn't expect that
Rapping like Tip on a hot butter sex plat
But don't call it a sex rap
This is that old school new to the next rap
I guess you didn't get the memo
'He Did' the first record 'Akstoopid' was a demo
I'll be your host the Ghostrider
This EP all beats by Chad Scheider
Still puffing on the izm
Working on some new shit with my man DJ PRZM
Soon to tour Europe and Britain
Because Kool Chip said 'I am a slave to the rhythm'
You can't handle the whole weight
Keep my teeth clean with a fresh tube of Colgate
Keep my life flowing like a river
Pluck out your eye like an arrow from a quiver
While you run hither and thither like a headless chicken
As I detox my liver
I might remove your innards
While I'm listening to 'Nuthin Fancy' by Lynnard Skynnard
My apologies that last gag was mad cheap
Sometimes I dream I was hard just like Black Sheep
Sometimes I roll deep with mad peeps
Sleep on a pillow made of fine girls' ass cheeks
Petit oiseau
Le gare est finit
Tu dois trouver le trefle double
Soixante-neuf
War's over
Cold sunshine
Double clover
69
I don't lounge all day like an esquire
I got to get up in the fire
Feel my heart pump like a piston
Supplying funky words so the people might listen
I can't live on the chase
Got to relax kick raps at a steadier pace
I was in a pettier place
Talking mad crap on tracks
What a waste
The microphone I embrace
Hold it hard rock it right give the audience shakes
Even my mistakes is on purpose
Word to life and my my mama and my sister and black churches
For certain came to concoct experiments
Chad made the track man I'm feeling it
And if you look you can witness me in your district screming
Can I kick it
So let it go professional lyric pro
Grew up on the boom bap and the jazz black spirituals
Flow swift and natural like whole grain cereal
Flame melt your ice grills I'm a propane stereo
My phonics frantic
My mind's ripe with hype shit
And my vocab's titanic
These are hot documents we rocking with
My life is like a movie but ain't nobody watching it
War's over
Cold sunshine
Double clover
69
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3. |
ABC
03:33
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Hey yo I tried to act smart
So I went to school and got a college degree
But I couldn't stay cool
That's when I knew that it was time to act up
I started looking for someone to smack up
So back up before I your teeth knocked down your throat
Wonder how I got the class president vote
I'm intimidating
Little kids I'm hating fly girls I'm dating
Give props to Satan
Lord of the underworld 666
Getting to the center of your head with one lick
I got one dick two fists and a big mouth
Looking for a shovel so that I could dig out a hole
So I could throw in a body with no chest left
Oh yes Ladi-Dadi
One to the three to the four to the two
Nine ten eleven twelve
Bang
Fuck you
Kung fu duck stew pluck a few limbs from your torso
Now ask yourself how come you're so stupid
To fuck with the capital of Rap Land
Gobble up a ghost quick fast like Pac-Man
It's like that and yeah I'm the tax man
Scare white people like as if I was a black man
I'm a naughty motherfucker for Christmas
I was on Santa Claus's 'You Ain't Getting Shit' list
I kill kids and then I fill them up with sugar plums and cinnamon
Good evening ladies and gentlemen
I could use your bloody torso to make a lamp
Plug my chainsaw into my guitar amp
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYCoolZey
I stop by Gabe's because there ain't shit else to do
I'm on the guest list as Coolzey plus two
Step to the bar because it's a bad habit
Order one brown bottle of beer and then I grab it
Guzzle it order up another then I sip it
Later at a house party might do a whip-it
Skip it just like a stone across a lake
Stopping by a burger shop to cop a chocolate shake
I got to make dough but I can't do it rapping
Now I'm washing dishes with Don in the back and
Let's start packing the van for another tour
Because I got see my fan and the others who're
Coming to my show even if you're on the guest list
Because I know my flows are the hypest and the freshest
The place where I rest it's not Maine or Texas
I'm talking about a place located in the midwest
It's the IOWA get it in your noggin
Might see it on a girl's ass when they're jogging
I'm steady flogging on emcees' asses
Every six months I break my motherfucking glasses
A 'D' still passes but I'm getting all 'A's
I refill glasses because I'm fresh all day
Like Mentos the fresh-maker or Cinnaburst
Biting me you'll get scared and say
Those flavor crystals frighten me
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYCoolZey
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4. |
Bloody Apron
03:14
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Who's that coming out the basement with a bloody apron
Prepare to meet your replacement
I chase men into alley ways
Trap them up against fences and act like a dentist
Taking out your teeth like dentures
Violence and nudity is why my adventures is censored
I bent the halo of angel
Fought a dozen demons then I ate a dozen bagels
Ten times the tact of new jack
In fact I never lose a battle so rack
Then sit back and chill while I chalk my stick
I can't make the break while you're talking dick
Brick after brick I keep building and building
Rhyme after rhyme gets fed to the children
I play with a rapper like a girl with a dolly
And then I kill them like Kali
I'm not jolly like Saint Nick dick
My vics is steady washing up to shore like Pauly
Come take a trolly to the land of make believe
Because you couldn't handle the way that I ate emcees
Up like a basket of hot wings
King of my castle
Natural like Arizona hot springs
I got dreams that involve me getting paid
And laid in the shade and making out with a fresh maid
I made the grade I'm the best at my trade
And no matter what happens Coolzey will never fade
I never made a track that lacked lyrics
Largely because emcees flip their lids when they hear it
You can't crush my spirit by attacking my dead ego
As my adventures continue like Remo Williams
And billions of dollars get spent
By Coolzey Roy G Biv and Mr. Dent
Your sister went to my show and got a backstage pass
And at last now I'm up in that ass
I got class charisma character and cunning
I'm stunning emcees for testing
They're running and resting
And while they're asleep I'm ingesting
Arms and legs I digest them like eggs
They beg and beg and beg me to leave them alone
So I give them to my robot clone
Taking them home and then I'm breaking their bones down to powder
Turning the music up louder
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5. |
Artworld
03:58
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I really don't understand kids these days
Misbehave
They are going to be the ones who put me in my grave
Thinking about sex
Thinking to much
Thinking ain't safe going to mess you up
Looking for the books that we removed from the shelf
Bad for health
Listening to unapproved music
That's your ticket to hell
That's why we built this store
We've got everything you're looking for
We've got CDs and DVDs galore
So tell me why do you choose to ignore
Hell we even made the bands
Picked every member out with our own hands
Made sure they had white teeth and tans
And if the women weren't slamming
Then we even enlarged their mammary glands
And we taught them all what to sing
And we told them all what to play
And we even spied on the children
So we could tell them all what to say
We used the hippest modern dialect
And we crafted all the lyrics
Then we gave them national pride
And emboldened them with spirit
But those little brats just won't hear it
So they go to the black market
To get all their dirty music
Then they get a bag of dope and spark it
That's fucking sick
They wont' buy the music that we sell
Even though it's really funny
All they want to do is rebel
We spent millions making this picture
And we even gave out free liquor
But they said our shit was lame
And the underground flick was sicker
What do they got that we don't got
They said our picture it lacked soul
Why those little ungrateful shits
How I wish I could control
What they do at every turn
Then maybe they all would learn
That if they continue to disobey
Then they all one day will burn
We even took the safest modern art
Made it into glossy posters
But they wouldn't buy the shit
So we had no sales turnover
I want to bend them over and spank them all
Very long and hard
Only two percent of the kids we solicited applied for an Artworld card
I just can't believe this shit
Those kids are finally getting smart
The little sons of bitches are even making their own art
And recording their own music and directing their own films
Even writing their own novels and they're starting artist guilds
Every Artworld that we build it just doesn't matter anymore
And they've finally gone and done it
Now we have to close some stores
Close the one in Iowa City
Close the one in Omaha
Five in Portland Ten in Cali
And the Paris one is gone
The whole world is getting smarter now that they won't buy our crap
But this war is far from over watch the devil take a nap
Like that
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Coolzey Fairfield, Iowa
Golden era hip-hop roots planted in black Iowa dirt are the foundation. Growth tempered by alternative era rock influence. This along with a love for the juxtaposition of the dark, horrific nature of life paired with a slapstick and comedic view of the world allow for a wide, unpredictable arsenal ranging from soul-spilling indie bedroom rock to wise-cracking battle rap and on to radio pop. ... more
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