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Coolzey and the Search for the Hip Hop Hearts Vol 2: I'm the DJ, They're the Rapper

by Coolzey

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1.
It goes Boom! Bang! Who rang? You rang? Ooh, dang Dip dip dive, invite us, you might find We'll take your track and kick you off as fast as your wi-fi Wake up, you're afraid of the dark, you need a Break, son, take a day in the park, and let us Break stuff, til we're making it spark, and get an A+ because we're making good marks When I'm taking everything I know and burning it down When my first name is both a verb and a noun When they're selling magic that I buy with no doubt When it's real to me, damnit, and I'm crying it out And even when I know it can't be I wanna let myself believe the things that I see I'm marking out Silly motherfuckers, bunny rabbits are for tricks, kid Listen, get us on your funny track, we'll fix it Corny carnies see a couple of marks But then we come in and these rappers scatter from us like sharks Only hacks wanna flex blue checks and numbers Who cars in the winters? Double dare you in the Summers To some physical challenges that'll take you to hell Zack Morris on the phone, you ain't Saved by the Bell There's no Ronson to remix your old Federline hits You clowns are drowning while I swim in gold medals like Spitz You're the worst in all the land, small, ashamed with all your envy I'm the world's strongest man, hall-of-famer, call me Henry Call me Calaway when parts of your anatomy are taken I'm the chosen one, the only son of Natalie and Hayden Animated, I ain't joking, I'm the scariest yet When your buried, I'm with Harrison and Carrie on the set I'm marking out I’m in the bungalow winging it like a buffalo until I’m a spitting image incredible like I’m Ruffalo I’m sitting comfortable down below with the Huxtables Suited like a professional sickness where the medic go Bro, I move around the court like a maverick No Cuban Cigars the shark tank can handle it Hamill it so you know there wars within the stars better hit the deck for the joker in the cards So look no further I serve beef well done, here’s a wahlburger So it’s on site like a web server Cannibalism in the cars. That a Twain murder (get it) Hit with the bark and I’m ready to spark Ignite on the charts with some permanent (marks) Brunel as a start, undertaker to heart In prime time I’ll have you afraid of the dark It goes Boom! Bang! Who rang? You rang? Ooh, dang Dip dip dive, invite us, you might find We'll take your track and kick you off as fast as your wi-fi Wake up, you're afraid of the dark, you need a Break, son, take a day in the park, and let us Break stuff, til we're making it spark, and get an A+ 'cause we're making good marks When I'm taking everything I know and burning it down When my first name is both a verb and a noun When they're selling magic that I buy with no doubt When it's real to me, damnit, and I'm crying it out And even when I know it can't be I wanna let myself believe the things that I see I'm marking out
2.
I'm blowing up, everybody else sucks, lemme get the dynamite into your trunk like BOOM Hear it's all the rage, but it's dangerous to play, catch me on the space page, kirby krackles go BOOM Now i'm getting fed, and it's going to my head, gotta leave me left 4 dead, fat one is going BOOM So I'm coming for the title, got the karens going wild cuz feeling all entitled, grandparents only BOOM I'm a boomer in the best way, wouldn't leave ya dead or sick so I could own an airplane Doing numbers like I'm Endgame, without a second thought I'll sell a mask that has my nickname Cause I'm in it for the cheese see? before I hit the big sleep they'll put me in a deep freeze So I'm back when it's 3K, with a cyber DJ, performing live for EBay Until then I'm just a small fish, roaming in an ocean that you wouldn't wanna mess with But I see you gotta death wish, hit em with a full press, out and feeling helpless like a storm is a-brewing, they don't know what they choosing, they don't know what they're doing So I roll in like a surprise, knowing that it's unwise, trusting in my kind eyes See I'll lead ya to the slaughter, everybody but my daughter if it means I'll be a baller Another day another dollar, everyday I'm getting hotter like those kids from harry potter so maybe you should back off, before it bout to kickoff harder than my seahawks, I'm just in it for the caps, i don't care about these tracks, I don't even like to rap, dude
3.
When the sun comes up I slither out of my bag i'll climb up a tree till i'm covered in sap and i'll hang upside down like a bat cuz i don't wanna live in your plastic habitat and when the moon comes up and the sky goes black I'll say goodnight to the muskrats, turtles and ants and lay my head down on the grass cuz i don't wanna live in your plastic habitat I like to feel the breeze through trees collect firewood and berries throw away my phone and car keys then i'll find a stream and talk to the bees It's been a week since I shaved Making beats in a cave by bangin' pots with a branch Now i'm livin' off the fat of the land City life is a scam Out here nothing is bland When you're livin' like Tarzan I'm the real landlord cuz i don't pay rent I use paracord to tie down my North Face tent which i keep zipped up to keep the moths out I'm a city dropout Used to mingle with the honeys at the Hofbräu Now the cute bunnies hop out From the hilltops with the beavers and ferrets I don't got much but i'm down to share it They just wanna munch on my lettuce and carrots When the sun comes up I slither out of my bag i'll climb up a tree till i'm covered in sap and i'll hang upside down like a bat cuz i don't wanna live in your plastic habitat and when the moon comes up and the sky goes black I'll say goodnight to the muskrats, turtles and ants then lay my head down on the grass cuz i don't wanna live in your plastic habitat All the things that I fear disappear To the creatures of the woods I'm endeared A bird lives in my beard And they don't think it's weird When I dance in the nude by the fire Under a full moon Life gets brighter My best friend is a squirrel Named Earl
4.
Those glory days when the world was almost But not quite destroyed yet Oh yes, the before times. I remember the prophets, aloft signs, holding the presage up in the air that the end’s nigh. Now we’re headlining piles of smoldering wreckage. I guess we expected it, life was too good to be true: plenty of food, selling CDs and iTunes, performing for humans instead of for mutant survivors. Most of the wasteland’s certainly stupid and violent. Not you fine folks, of course, tastemakers of the post-apocalypse. Poke at the corpse of a venue, a wandering bard will emerge, trade you for a battery charge or a laundry deterg, any potable water you got. If you’re weighing whether you ought to or not, consider that the previous encampment demanded late show added, all standing. Ran and I earn renown across the trashscape: Best rappers who can’t remember when they last bathed, bringing fine rhymes thick with descriptions of those in the know in the past and their vicious predictions. Come get some nostalgia here. At the end of the world, hark back: yesteryears. Those glory days when the world was almost But not quite destroyed yet I remember it well, The joy of being an indie rapper Prior to our descent into hell Back when entertainment held some kinda value before consumers found they could make it by without you When we all would hug total strangers, and gather in public Now I’m crouched under my office desk rapping with puppets I think back to 2020 when it all began When the dude with the tiny hands, launched his faulty plan To get re-elected, till at the moment when we least expected Kanye West went Phoenix Wright, and he objected They told him go through the proper channels and he neglected Then he summoned the murder hornets, so now we infected It was crazy, he almost beat Biden on write-ins Then there was this huge flash of lightning I was working on a track, about to tell the story, Then the aliens attacked And it was hella gory And the only place intact Was Minneapolis And this extension level event was the catalyst We disbanded the cabinet and it was fabulous Except for the fact that rap music is now... gone? I guess I laugh to keep from weeping Or grieving, or binge eating, or skipping on zoom meetings Now Front and I like travel from the west to the east Just hoping to make rent telling stories like these. Those glory days when the world was almost But not quite destroyed yet
5.
Hot sauce for blood I cannot get enough When I tip it upside down my mouth starts dripping, yum Even if it's all I taste you know I’m satisfied I wanna lick the sun and then I want it magnified Give me capsicum by the case what are you waiting for An invitation to be spraying my face with a flame thrower? I’m a yellow bird in an asbestos shirt I want my head to burn I want my chest to hurt I want my neighbors to avoid my house because of the smell And when they try to ring the doorbell their fingers will melt I want to shoot out liquid magma when I go to the can And if that doesn’t sound appealing then you don’t understand I got hot sauce for blood I got hot sauce for blood I got hot sauce for blood When I feel it start to burn that’s when I turn it up I got hot sauce for blood Since I was a toddler I been ogling habanero Barely keeping it together in my heart like cupid's arrow In my car I keep an emergency stash of plain tabasco Just in case I go to somebody's house I don’t have to ask em Just to get disappointed when they bust out the sriracha That they been squirrelling in their closet since college I'm not a snob, I'm particular about hot sauce And if you gots the rach I can't get my rocks off You'd think I was goth the way that I'm obsessed with ghosts and reapers Scorpions I'm over eating, spicy is my whole demeanor Ulcers are the least of my worries I'm already pouring quarts of jolokia down my throat in a hurry My gullet is hurting but it’s the pain that I crave You choose Cholula we are not the same I’m super lucid you say I'm insane It's like there's too much Dave’s gourmet soaked into my brain So cut me open and watch the sauce pour Careful cuz it might leave a hole up in your floor And if you're still skeptical I'll tell you some more I got hot sauce for blood motherfu... I got hot sauce for blood I got hot sauce for blood I got hot sauce for blood When I feel it start to burn that’s when I turn it up I got hot sauce for blood
6.
Shut your fucking mouth You’re so fucking loud Shut your fucking mouth That’s what we’re all about No you don’t know better Running off your mouth like you’re oh so clever Gifted kid center, yeah you’re such a go getter Tryna make your ego shrink like a dick in cold weather’s Gonna take more than just four letters STFU, LTTRE Listen to the real expert, this seminar’s free Only charging the fee of your undivided attention And full closure of your face hole, by extension Put on a mask you dummies, this isn’t rocket science It’s health science, we’ve got no time for your noncompliance Your staunch defiance only gives you the freedom Of excreting your nasty cheese while we’re breathing in your coronavirus Shut the fuck up you doctor-denying half-evolved Raw dogging the air like some chin-strapping neanderthals Everybody gangsta till someone they know contracts it And panics like guess it’s not a Democratic hoax after all Shut your fucking mouth You’re so fucking loud Shut your fucking mouth That’s what we’re all about Breathe in, breathe out. Except you. Supposed to be in this together, but there be a chosen few Who wanna front like they invincible I'll admit they're very bold Pestilence don't give a fuck if you're young or hella old. Left to the right, the bodies pile up Sickness knockin hoes sayin science ain't enough Keyboard warriors playin like this a joke If they want a death wish, then I'm down to write the note The Karens and the Kens, wanna bitch out when you try To tell em mask on it's like they ain't afraid to die Call em out online, they always gonna cry They been framed, and here's a mask and a lousy alibi Bitch - you're on video - your little dog too Not the pupper in your purse, but the one who married you So enjoy your night out and the virus you'll accrue
7.
Nerves jagged off the caffeine Catalyst to my doom scrolls and bad dreams Cataclysms vile chatter and vast schemes Scroll faster my skull packed in with bad things Cant cleanse it I’m not ascendant I’m in the weeds Camo-painted, flame fanned by calamity Pain, panic stampedes my sanity Slim chance of peace even in my family It’s all standard can’t stand it there’s nothin new Need a guru or a suitable substitute Need a dula for rebirthin love and truth Plugged in to no sustenance so cut it loose Must assume no ones know what to do It’s all corrupted from the cops to Cliff Huxtables, in other news Kali’s up and been bustin moves Juggling heads thrustin her tongue at you While thunder booms It’s enough to keep ya up and awake couple a days Stuck in your place Tight grip white knuckle it say I must escape Makin plans to peep Canada man I’m losing stamina The simulation’s glitching Pull the cartridge and blow, blow, blow The simulation’s glitching Pull the cartridge and blow, blow, blow The simulation’s glitching Pull the cartridge and blow, blow, blow Look at you on the Internet certain Spurting views, the crowned king of discernment Look at you whose seen behind curtains God’s eye view off that podcast learnin Never confused Mr. Galaxy Brain Got the facts for the claims And a knack for the game You’d love a challenge but no challengers came Cuz you are not regular You are not Bound by common dualities of understanding An online deity of dialectic A keyboard colossus orchestrating mass re education Via roast and rebuttal Eviscerating dissidents with clown emojis A young titan wrathfully smashing that laugh react button Please don’t leave me in ashes with your withering disdain For I too wish I could own reality with the certainty of an internet cynic The simulation’s glitching Pull the cartridge and blow, blow, blow The simulation’s glitching Pull the cartridge and blow, blow, blow The simulation’s glitching Pull the cartridge and blow, blow, blow
8.
Court cases, sore faces, my sword, cut open smiles to reveal Scorcese’s Or Score-sese, it’s more Wesley, More dangerous than Jesse, I snipe besties, who wanna test she, Blow like Gilespie, dizzy, you feeling zesty, you don’t impress me, I’m smoother than jet ski’s & cooler than Yeti’s, on rulers with Jet Li, earned a Pulitzer, writing code on computers, my chest reads, S where the X meets…ha, seXy, flesh and hexadecimal chess geeks, Outta your best leagues, capiche, peep the motion picture, I'm a true tease, it’s juicy, my nudies belong in the movies, been getting rupees, your magic coins don’t amuse me, lift a kufi, eat this two piece, with a Smoothie, cinema get ya unruly, sleeping dragon became a sleeping beauty, but don’t confuse me…I got a duty, somebody call Coolzey, I’m clicking heels filled with rubies, I’m signing Boobies, #Boobcore, and I ain’t got no groupies, how tragic, black magic, with Moodie, still a newbie, throw some hail mary’s to Rudy, he was Mikey in Goonies, I be pop, pop, poppins like Julie, Andrews, rocking Patchouli, while the fans view, touchdowns to Lucy, eating Peanuts with Snoopy, in Katmandhu, the tunes is…looney, we aim to enchant you, I paint with a brush stroke, broader than Matthew, I’m on the Ferris Wheel, dueling with Bueller, the few can see the masterpiece, it's time to upgrade your future... Clap your hands, do the hexidecimal chess geeks dance Only you...know your plans... Only you...make demands for you I stretch the seconds like hours. I relish the scent of my flowers My hellish descent is a Testament to my Prowess, no embellishment Your best defense is: your best friend's ex pretends you're fresh. Alright now, This takes me back like whipping that white towel like, woww What's the problem constable? I signed a boob once, we were all uncomfortable Quit stalling, call the nurse! Pride and prejudice, Colin Firth These days whats a dollar worth? Only monsters ball when the balling hurts My fall to earth crushed all the nerds. My flawless words make a solid verse You could call it irksome, first off I'm a problem not a person Kyle McLachan, Elle MacPherson. Cast a spell and spell the words wrong Eff it, my effortless effectiveness speaks to you and leads you like the Bulbasaurs who would see to the wounded Detective Pikachu They'll say, "He did the best that he could do," when they reminisce and remember me And I'm a little bit of everything so it's impossible to misgender me! Just bend the knee, kiss the sigil ring, I'm every little thing The hexadecimal chess geeks have come to UPGRADE YOUR FUTURE
9.
Man, I got a baby with another on the way, I’m like a fucking Dad, get rad, fat boy do bunny hops, fuck a hypebeast I’m beast the least interest in your lease, cancel yo lame life, buy a Russian wife, goodbye oopsie fucking boopsie, did my zipper touch yo tooshie, not happening, that song we sing ding dong the witch is dead, now doorbells don’t protect your innocence, do girls actually enjoy head, doubtful, kiss the tits instead, stop being so sexist, it’s okay, just don’t vote red, ya dead anyway So shut the fuck up and don’t listen to me, I’m out here looking at trees, drinking beer, eating nachos screaming I support queers, stop living in fear, motherfucker I just hit a deer, oh dear, don’t cry, dry your eye, grab the rope and pull don’t get the dope, lose hope like officer friendly, remember me, acid tabs a-plenty, we rob ya dibble got that dick trickle, fickle like most these posers who support donny trump, take a dump on your $50 flag made in China, I’m not a whiner just sick of it, ya sheepish little tricks, jump in a well, oh well, I’ll tell the cops you took a dip As I'm Waving back to you while I'm saying yo bye bye Beginning of a farewell yelling back aha Seeing me again while I'm waving yo bye bye Changing off the top when you see me no tye dye 4x (The farewell song) la da Da Da Da Da Barf butt smear your campaign awkwardly, that’s gross, take a toast, adios spoon roast, slow wicked, slap your revival, images take on a new world, life is a ghost, we get the most lost in Chicago, sweaty and deadly, welcome to taco jail, I’m surprised I didn’t die and even watched The 'Burbs like 6 times, for real, motherfucker this the grittiest of mass appeal, skip the record we deal dick donuts for 18+, toys are bust, the road is open, warriors in disgust, dust off the lungs, speak in goat, eat tongues, like I do in my sleep, hit the horn on the Jeep, meep meep, in too deep like Dr. Octagon, what the fuck am I on and why is there a horse in my hotel room, witches get the broom, sweep sweep, beep beep, creep As I'm Waving back to you while I'm saying yo bye bye Beginning of a farewell yelling back aha Seeing me again while I'm waving yo bye bye Changing off the top when you see me no tye dye 4x (The farewell song) la da Da Da Da Da Inside the mind I can see that I'm sinister lost Wishin I was back on missions for miniature golf In a minute I'm taught, my hour glass broken Laugh jokin' at backstabbers who back strokin' Lack focus on those who wanna act bogus Yap over the facts, they cheat on tax quotas They embarrass ya claim they wanna cherish ya Always cup the wave making fun of Miss America Blast off, lost again, alcohol is my excuse I need to want again, lonely sheets I know my only love is, so why pretend, I need to be better to my best friend, another story, we all work things out, when we care, compassionate for everyone even if I don’t like ya hair, now feel the cool air when I walk by you, stop talking bout the breeze as if I drew down a sketch of a pimp, fuck a simp, I’m a wimp, whoop yo ass like trading a whopper for electoral votes, ask Bufus I dare ya, bitches don’t compare bruh, get hugs when you can, always on the can taking cat dumps, feel the lump lump see a doctor, give ‘em the ex, flex and fall asleep, the life of a writer, words and art we breathe, tired and misconceived, sell a helicopter to pay back ya presidential loans, that’s a groan in my bank, a faulty run a pun in reality, you’re fucking fired and we’re fired up again, we really don’t need the political system caught up, youz another victim, says who, we fighting our own brothers and sisters, seems silly and diminishing, so fuck you bigots, help people, life can be happier, dig it As I'm Waving back to you while I'm saying yo bye bye Beginning of a farewell yelling back aha Seeing me again while I'm waving yo bye bye Changing off the top when you see me no tye dye 4x (The farewell song) la da Da Da Da Da
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about

In the second volume of 'Coolzey and the Search for the Hip Hop Hearts' Coolzey passes the mic to a host of emcee friends to concentrate on beatsmithing. This is a complete role reversal from Volume 1 which saw Coolzey rapping over production from 12 different beatmakers.

credits

released May 6, 2022

Music by Coolzey
Mixes by Fresh Kils
Mastering by Todd Rittmann
Cover art by Juan y Diego
Track 1 Vocals by Schaffer the Darklord + Mark Cooper
Track 2 Vocals by Beefy
Track 3 Vocals by DJ Douggpound
Track 4 Vocals by MC Frontalot + Mega Ran
Track 5 Vocals by Snailmate
Track 6 Vocals by LEX the Lexicon Artist + Shubzilla
Track 7 Vocals by Jim Swim
Track 8 Vocals by Jesse Dangerously, Prowess the Testament + Twill Distilled
Track 9 Vocals by Derill Pounds + Ardamus
Track 10 Vocals by Mikal kHill, imperfekt, Sulfur, E-turn, Coolzey + Prowess the Testament

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Coolzey Fairfield, Iowa

Golden era hip-hop roots planted in black Iowa dirt are the foundation. Growth tempered by alternative era rock influence. This along with a love for the juxtaposition of the dark, horrific nature of life paired with a slapstick and comedic view of the world allow for a wide, unpredictable arsenal ranging from soul-spilling indie bedroom rock to wise-cracking battle rap and on to radio pop. ... more

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